陳騰達 譯

我們浸浴在談話的濃湯中。這些談話的內容和含義點綴了我們的生活。

試想想，當你駕車送你的孩子上學，我突然轉向切線（令人討厭）。如果你說“男司機－都是壞人”，那麼您的孩子就會聯想到這個問題是很普遍的（所有男人）和持久的（沒有希望）。 但如果你說“哎呀，那個傢伙今天是否有什麼問題嗎？”那麼您的孩子就會認為這是一個暫時性的問題（今天），並只限於一個人（我）。 這種對話是無處不在的－在辦公室，家庭，派對和在大街上。我們的對話和含義經常都存在，它往往會變成解釋性風格（explanatory style）存在於下意識之中。但是我們在這種湯裏游泳是會有負面影響的。

其實要發展出抑鬱的文化是很容易的。人類似乎是這方面的專家。即使當我們的自然技能在這方面讓我們失望時，我們也可以運用古代或現代的手冊。大多數文化都有規範或諺語警告我們不要沉醉於成功或享樂－它們就像安全閥，保護我們以免有太多的希望。我不能責怪我們的文化；悲傷，痛苦和死亡是生命中不能避免的。

但是，我們必須認識到負面對話的影響。我們應該停止被動地在濃湯裏游泳，而應該向前邁出一步，成為廚師。我們可以利用讚賞為生活增添味道。

Jedi Chef

讚賞的文化提供了一個可以改善人際關係，情感和表現的梯級。John Gottman的研究顯示，健康的家庭關係需要正面交流和負面交流的比例為５：１。Barb Fredrickson和他的同事認為一個能良好運作的組織，比例至少要達３：１。看來，我們要在工作中更為忍耐了．．．畢竟，我們是收了薪金的。 我認為，創造讚賞的文化，主要是和聆聽有關，無論是在團體中或個人關係中。如果人們認為你沒有聆聽，他們也不會聽你說的話。聆聽，同時保持創造性。 無論您的情況是怎樣，您都可以建立一個向上的梯級。交談，聊天，身體語言－這一切都對於創造讚賞的文化至關重要。

享受你自己泡制的濃湯吧！

參考書目

Alesina, A., R. D. Tella, et al. (2001). “Inequality and Happiness: Are Europeans and Americans Different?” National Bureau of Economic Research Working Paper Series No. 8198.

The answer to the question posed in the title is ‘yes.’ Using a total of 128,106 answers to a survey question about happiness,’ we find that there is a large, negative and significant effect of inequality on happiness in Europe but not in the US. There are two potential explanations. First, Europeans prefer more equal societies (inequality belongs in the utility function for Europeans but not for Americans). Second, social mobility is (or is perceived to be) higher in the US so being poor is not seen as affecting future income. We test these hypotheses by partitioning the sample across income and ideological lines. There is evidence of inequality generated’ unhappiness in the US only for a sub-group of rich leftists. In Europe inequality makes the poor unhappy, as well as the leftists. This favors the hypothesis that inequality affects European happiness because of their lower social mobility (since no preference for equality exists amongst the rich or the right). The results help explain the greater popular demand for government to fight inequality in Europe relative to the US.

Altizer, A. B. (1973). Self and Symbolism in the Poetry of Michelangelo, John Donne and Agrippa d’Aubigne (Archives Internationales D’Histoire Des Idées Minor). The Hague,, Martinus Nijhoff.

Cooperrider, D. L. and D. K. Whitney (1999). Appreciative inquiry. Williston, VT, Berrett Koehler Communications.

Cooperrider, D. L. and D. K. Whitney (2005). Appreciative inquiry : a positive revolution in change. San Francisco, CA, Berrett-Koehler.

Fave, A. D. (2007). Individual Development and Community Empowerment Suggestions from Studies on Optimal Experience. In J. Haworth & G. Hart, Well-Being: Individual, Community and Social Perspectives, pages 41-56. Hampshire New York: Palgrave Macmillan.

Fredrickson, B. (2009). Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive . New York: Crown.

Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (2000). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert. New York: Three Rivers Press.

Hutcheson, F. (1725, 2008). Inquiry into the Original of Our Ideas of Beauty and Virtue, (Natural Law Cloth)An inquiry into the original of our ideas of beauty and virtue; in two treatises. I. Concerning beauty, order, harmony, design. II. Concerning moral good and evil. Liberty Fund Inc.; Revised edition.

Nussbaum, M. C. & Sen, A. K. (1993). The Quality of Life (Studies in Development Economics). Oxford, Oxford University Press.

Offer, A. (2006). The Challenge of Affluence: Self-Control and Well-Being in the United States and Britain since 1950. Oxford, Oxford University Press.

Ryff, C. D., B. H. Singer, et al. (2004). “Positive health: connecting well-being with biology.” Philosophical Transactions, Royal Society 259: 1383-1394.

Schwartz, B. and A. Ward (2004). Doing Better but Feeling Worse: The Paradox of Choice. In P. A. Linley & S. Joseph (Eds.). Positive Psychology in Practice. pp. 86-104. New York: John Wiley & Sons.

Snyder, C. R., & Lopez, S. J. (Eds.), Handbook of Positive Psychology. 277-287. New York: Oxford University Press.

Vaillant, G. (1998). Adaptation to Life. New York, NY: Harvard University Press.

Images: Inspiration Soup by Olaf, Jedi Chef by Arbron